Hie babes! i know u both are worried looking at my situation now.. so am i babe.. i dunno wat to do next.. how to face life next..when will this over.. i want myself to be happy too.. looking at the others.. who are happy with their life.. im not comparing for the bad ones la... im just trying to encourage myself by looking at ppl's life...
you know i just wanna share with u abt my life..
so that u both know why issit difficult for me to be happy now a days..
Family...
im having financial problem.. yes both of my parents work everyday.. even weekendz.. but believe it or not.. its not enough for us as a family to enjoy life.. im not blaming or pointing fingers at anyone.. i mean im happy enough tt at least i get $ for my sch life.. but in another hand.. i cnt enjoy life anymore.. last time when i was working at least i hv my own $$ to enjoy my life.. now.. its ended.. sometimes i dun have the heart to ask extra $ from my mum coz i know wat kind of difficulties tt my mum is going through.. my abang.. he is the biggest challenge tt my mum have to face.. i just hope one day.. my abang would change to be a better person ... My adek lak haivng psle.. i seriously dunno how he gonna face his big exam.. and tt day i dream FAiz smoking... i nvr saw but somehow my family cought him.. he smoke coz of mixing with the other frens.. kind of worry abt him now.. coz my family seldom spent time with him.. afraid tt it might happen as he is growing up now.. haiss...
My Life...
having problem with family.. now with my studies.. well i know i have to appreciate wat ever tt im having now.. coz not everyone cn get through this course.. but at the same time its too difficult till i just felt like giving up.. and when i think back of the past.. i was soo excited to get this course.. how interested i am in the begining.. it changes my mind.. i know i have to work extra hard for this.. but eventually i cant.. as my mind is not in peace for studying.. after thinking of my studies, family, financial... now thinking abt myself.. my heart and my life...
Wats next.. after i fall in love with Muhammad Romzi.. now he seem to be diff.. everything was a big change.. he leave me with a big QUESTION mark.. just a simple word WHY.. Why is this happening.. why must i keep losing someone who i have learnt to loved.. when cn i get someone who will love me and take care of me instead of leaving me.. why cant i have someone to love now..
last time Idris leave me with a big Question mark now.. romzi.. they leave me when im really falling in love with them.. haiss afraid to fall in love again..
sometime i just feel like.. Im not ganna love any guy anymore.. i wont learnt to love any guy.. but to love my one and only self.... i want to learnt not to hurt myself and ppls around me who care abt me.. u know i rather be alone then continu to loved someone who will nvr ganno love me back; whick is the guys.. im not giving up but im taking a break from this loving thingy... well i know the consequences is.. i will be lonely.. but i dont mind arhh.. being lonely is the sad thing but it will teach me alot of thing.. and i will keep myself and my heart save from being hurt... =')
well babes.. i hope u both will find a way to change ur life too..
Aini.. watever it is be prepared for the worst and plan wat will u do next.. dont wait for it to happen then u plan.. Plan it now so tt u wont waste ur time.. like me... :) stay srong in facing this.. u know the worst will come to u.. sooner or later.. u ahve to be mentally and physically prepared =) share with me wat u ganna do now aini .. <3
Era.. move on with me babe.. even if u are not having any freedom... fight for it.. prove to ur parents tt u deserve to have a freedom in future.. and abt guys... hmm if i were to be u.. i will just forget abt falling in love.. love are suxs at this age of us... we wont find our true love babes.. nvr......for now laa.. not forever.... :) dont be sad if u got no one love and being loved by.. and dont look back for the past.. coz it wont change and it wont make u happy at all.. mov on and keep looking forward.. be prepared for wat u gonna face.. always remember me and aini is always here for u k.. tell me wat u gonna do now :)
well babes.. thanks for always there for me.. to support me and advise me.. and also never fail in making me realise who am i whenever i fall on the ground.. now im standing and moving on walking on my life path.. and im waiting, looking and learning more in my life while im still alive on earth.. im learning to appreciate things around me and nvr wanna be sad anymore as im live only once on earth.. enjoying life eventhough theres nothing to enjoy.. hahahah =D
i love u babes.. <3
love
SHAHira Gyler =D
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